Happy Holidays from Elvis

Nothing says “Christmas” like a porcelain replica of Graceland.

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2 responses to “Happy Holidays from Elvis

  1. I kept waiting for it to be smashed by a big Godzilla foot.

  2. Tell me you saw the Fox & Friends Christmas Eve Prime Time Special… Featuring Geraldo Rivero, dressed as Santa, wearing pink sunglasses, giving gifts out to a motley crew of UltraBright white kids — and then taking the beard off and winking at the video camera.

    Hannity told the audience, specifically those who have lost their jobs, that if they “keep their heads down” and keep trying, that they are guaranteed to not fail.

    The production value was startling — and the final group rendition of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” was staggering in its sheer performativity. I can’t figure out if the whole experience was more David-Lynchian or Andy-Kaufmian. Either way, it was bizarre and re-ignited a simmering hathos in my soul.

    Do you remember how the Star Wars Christmas Special circa 1978 hurt? This is like that, only immeasurably more cruel.

    I have to go jog now, to come back down. And it’s icy. And snowing. Yeah, I live in Alaska.

    That’s how much it burned.

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